Happy 2nd Birthday, Chloe!

We've come a long way since Chloe's first birthday when we didn't know the extent of her food allergies.

As a tribute to Chloe, her teachers, her babysitters, her dad, her siblings, and all of you who supported me during the year of the Cooking Paradigm Shift, here are some things I learned about food, food allergies, and celebrating the positive.

Food is life-sustaining, nurturing, and comforting, except when it isn't. For Chloe, some of the very things that we take for granted are her poison. Instead of lamenting the losses of MY favorite foods, I had to teach Chloe to love new foods that were safe for her. I had to create a new cuisine for her and for all of us in her family to share with her.

After her allergy testing in November last year, we knew, in the words of her physician, we had to keep doing what we were doing and do it well. I felt a great deal of relief just to know for sure what to avoid, and I started paying attention to posts, blogs, emails, recipes, recommendations from friends, and the opportunities around me.

We found that one of Chloe's favorite foods was tamales. Pork, masa (corn), and red chile sauce are the only ingredients, and frequently the mothers of my students make and sell them at my school. I learned which cooks made the best-tasting tamales that Chloe liked, and the cooks learned to approach me when they were making tamales because they know I'm always good for one or two dozen. I learned to individually wrap and freeze them, like Hot Pockets, as Chloe's personal convenience food.

I learned to change from cooking with butter to cooking solely with olive oil as a base for sauteeing. I learned to layer fresh cuts of meat with potatoes and vegetables in the crock pot for a meal everyone in our family would like. I learned to notice that many of the recipes published in popular women's magazines were easily modified to be Chloe-safe and started editing them and putting them in a notebook.

I learned to read ingredients lists on packaged food. I learned to read them upside down and backwards and with whiny, impatient children in the background. I learned to look on every packaged food item for the allergy warning, and I learned that sometimes it was the store brand that had an ingredient we needed to avoid, and sometimes it was the generic brand, and I learned to read the ingredients again when I got home from the store and throw things away if my gut told me it was unsafe. I learned to read ingredients lists and allergy warnings on things I didn't think I needed to, like jelly beans and rice krispies, and ketchup. I learned that soy sauce has wheat in it and Worcestershire sauce has anchovies in it.

I learned that food processed on shared equipment with allergens is not ok for Chloe, but that food processed in shared facilities is.

I learned to consciously think about filling Chloe's cup with rice drink. I learned to consciously say it for her, to distinguish those words from "milk," and she eventually learned to say "rice drink" instead of "milk" too.

I learned how to administer an epi-pen. I learned to keep epi-pens in my purse, at school, and in the kitchen. I learned to keep Benadryl in her room and in my purse and at school and in the kitchen.

I learned how to cry and to let go and then go on.

I learned how to keep one cutting board for bread and cheese and one cutting board "Chloe-safe." I keep Sharpies in the kitchen for labeling food "Chloe-safe." I wipe bread crumbs off the counter and I never let her "wash dishes" if the dishes have had unsafe food on them.

I learned to keep separate utensils and plates for her food when she had just turned one. I learned how to teach Andrew what foods she can have and what she can't. I learned how to enjoy the sight of Chloe eating cereal just like her brother, and how nice it was that each child could have their own cereal box to look at while they ate and therefore not fight. I learned to distinguish by sight one of Chloe's gluten, egg, dairy and nut-free "Whole-O's" from one of Andrew's "Honey Nut O's."

I learned how to say, "ella allergica a leche, trigo, huevos, y cacahuates."

I learned how to communicate with teachers and other parents about her food allergies. I learned how to insist politely that strangers not feed her and kids not share their snacks. I learned how to make Chloe-safe snacks for other kids to eat with her.

I learned how to cook Chloe-safe holiday meals that were not immediately recognizable as being completely free of Chloe's food allergens.

I learned how to cook healthy, whole-foods meals and appreciate the purity and bounty of freshly harvested food. I learned how to search for and clean up every last m&m, Cheerio, and drop of milk spilled in the house.

I learned how to find the gluten-free section in any grocery store, and to notice that gluten-free does not necessarily mean allergy-friendly, but that sometimes it does. I learned how to ask our local food co-op, of which I am now a member, to carry sunflower seed butter.

I learned how important it is to talk and communicate and talk again and then praise Chloe's caregivers for their vigilance. I learned how to tell others who have never heard of a child being allergic to anything about Chloe's food allergies.

I learned that it is an immune-response to certain proteins, and that it is incurable, and that someday, maybe, she might possibly outgrow her food allergies although the likelihood is remote and that we are in this for life.

I learned at last that I needed to bake for Chloe. I learned which flours were gluten-free and--by intensive trial and error (gluten free pie and pizza crust just isn't worth it) --which recipes to use to make items that are actually delicious--muffins, pancakes, cookies, and most importantly, Chloe's gluten-free, vegan chocolate birthday cake with chocolate frosting, and that it's totally ok to lick the spoon 'cause there's no eggs in it.

I learned that the list of delicious and wonderful food Chloe can enjoy is miles longer than the list of things she can't have, and that at long last an incredibly difficult task can become second nature, and after that a thing to celebrate.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Chloe, I love you!